soo
Baby
Posts: 64
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Post by soo on Oct 23, 2005 12:18:31 GMT 8
after reading all the posts, i felt so blessed that i've a wonderful family..though i rarely phoned back home but i know my parents always concern about me... i'm studying in kl and once when i was sick, i called back and they immediately drove from my hometown which actually need about more than one hour drive and just to send me to the clinic for a doctor and then they went back again.. and also my results though my results were lousy, my mom once asking me if i'm able to cope with it but my father was still letting me to choose whatever i interested, both of them gave me the freedom that i decided to do and they seldom asking me abt what i'm doing as they think i'll know what i'm doing. in case u dunno i come from a huge family where i'm the second out of seven siblings... i know it's just a small case..a conversative chinese society doesn't say the word "love" out easily, but they showed it in the minor things in life unintentionally... i know that my family always will be there for me whenever i need them though they are noisy all the time and my mom always nag to me as well.
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Post by rachelw3n on Oct 23, 2005 13:07:05 GMT 8
wow...so touched by all ur stories....haizz really muz luv n k my parents ohh.....
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Post by lilywhite on Oct 24, 2005 12:35:59 GMT 8
I am so touched to read all the stories here…tears streaming down my face…
Thank u to Idolhunter & Swan56 to open this thread of sharing between the adult & the young ones & never forget to say thank u to Daniel to bring us together.
Eemun, I haven't met u before but when I read through your messages, it really touched my heart. You are such an understanding young sweet lady.
Bubble, I read through your message. You showed your painful in depression, I am sorry. As Jwong said: Forgiveness is a gift we give to those who have hurt us.
Having to wake up every morning & remember that you have to spend your life loathing someone, or something, being constantly repulsed by one aspect of your life or someone else's life, no doubt it's surely depressingly time. U can't let this feeling bothering your daily life…Bubble, I don't know what is your age but pls don't be afraid to get outside help. Sometimes children are angry or scared, and they don't know how to deal with their feelings. So pls do not "act out," meaning misbehave. Bubble when your problem interferes with your ability to carry out normal routines, you may need help to deal with them. Talk with your closest one or a counselor may be helpful to coach u through more constructive ways of expressing your feelings when fears continue over years.
Auntie Lilywhite wishes u a lot of Happiness. Take care, Bubble.
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Post by idolhunter on Oct 24, 2005 12:55:03 GMT 8
Wow.... you are cool and daring to turn working in arts & craft..... i always admire such people anyway..... ;D Thanks. Yeah, it was very crazy..but the story went into the english and malay newspapers a couple of years ago ;D Care to share your story???
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Post by idolhunter on Oct 24, 2005 14:29:32 GMT 8
Dear Uncles & Aunties My topic this time is something we can teach the young ones peeping inside here ;D We cannot rewind our lives back but we can rewind our thoughts back.... so care to share with our young ones here.... What you should or shoudn't have done Maybe we can learn something... Need not write long stories....just short ones.. a small bit of your memories back then that u regreted.. So folks....let m start a simple one... I regret I was never close to my father... I seldom talk to him... becos he is very fierce n moody. but when he got older, he toned down..I should have visited him more and talk to him more when he has toned down... BUT I did not....n I held his hands and touched his forehead before he passed away... that was the closes thing I did.... I just want to share this with you...and I hope you young ones don't have the same regret that I had.. thanks for hearing me out.. idolhunter...thanks for your advise...but i don think i can't get close to my father...from small till now...what i can say is i dislike him...why? because he did'nt really care of my health and my life...what he care of is just my exam result. you know what? i've already didn't met him for almost 1 year!!! start from the day of chinese new year till now! not i dowan see him,but he is keep on avoiding us! avoiding us to get some money for school from him! besides,what he really care is his son! His son is different mom with me! could u imagine that a father that don really remember about his children age,birthdate and the most terrible is,NAME!!! haih...anyway...he doesn't care my mom,my sisters and me...then why shall i care him so much? no point for me to do so...in my life...i just close to my mom,granma and my sisters Bubble, I m sad to hear about your bad experience with your dad.... Different people will go thru different ways in their lives and no 2 person will have the exact same experience...but u may find some resemblence and simillarities and that where we learn and relate... and by reading all the postings here, u will feel that you are not alone in the world and that helps...and also by expressing yrself, u have lifted up the burden that you have kept and that is good as it releases out some of the old grudges that U couldn't express... There is no right or wrong answers to our problems..but whatever that makes u feel good...that's the answer for u...
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*JJ*
Toddler
Posts: 112
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Post by *JJ* on Oct 24, 2005 16:55:54 GMT 8
not i dowan to get close with him...but he didn't give me the chance...everytime when he saw us,sure he will scold us without any reason. besides,he dowan to visit us,dowan ti pick up the phone that we call for him,so,how to get close to him? last time i really wanna forget all the past...but everything seems useless when he say i tell lie to him while i didn't! to this father,what can i say is just disappointed... Bubble, i know your feelings...my ex-schoolmates had those kind of family problems... be strong... Bubble i know ur feeling too, i also same as you... Until now, i really seldom talk with my mom..i don't know how to make a communication with her....she is very busy eventhough before was same. No matter in home or have a dinner time , she always talking about "money" , i am very bored of this...maybe my father run away from us...she needed to take care our family so she needs to be stronger..Until i over 21 , i understandood everything. She needs me to be stronger person and independent too...i am very sorry to her (eventhough i can't open my mouth say a word"sorry "to her but i hope one day she will also understand i really love her,) I knew everytime i 'm made very quiet with her, because i don't know express myself. . instead of angry her...Unfortunately , so far she still don't understand me at all...may be timing problem...i wish i really wish she will understand one day ..Last time my father called us , he wanted to borrow some money from us, i suddenly shock! i didn't know it is kidding???my mind just think " he want money then he come back for asking money"..i am really disappointed at all...i don't know he remember us whether never ever????Before, i hope 1 day he will come back , but i think now is the time for ending Childhood regret.. i 've made regret so many times, my mom as well .....i just hope everything will be all right for me and my mom too...
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Post by chilicandy on Oct 24, 2005 17:31:35 GMT 8
i guess life is always full of mysteries and surprises.... within every family , there is some secret that outside world wont see....
Sometimes, these "events" is what makes us stronger and makes us who we are now. But its always better to try to forgive and moves on... hating someone is really tiring and bring more unhappiness.
sounds like craps eh? I'm glad that within my own circle of family and siblings, we dont hav much grouses.... but because now that i am married, it came along with some "relatives" that i dont like...
some people says, when u are marrying a person, u are marrying his/her relatives as well....
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Post by eemun on Oct 24, 2005 18:24:40 GMT 8
bubble : u re strong young lady who can withstand all the pain memory with ur dad ... and at most times, people just find it difficult to understand individuals of different age ... cause we think differently and the things that we want r different ...
my neighbour encounter about the similar case as u, once morning when i woke up at 5 smthg in the morning, i can hear the gurl (about the same age as i am) screaming in pain, and i can hear clearly her father beat her up with the belt, everytime when i come back from school (i was form 5 that time), the gal will wait for me in the staircase to change the shoes with me (she exchanged her sandals with my school shoes) ... and i knew her dad beat her up cause she ponteng, having bf at such age etc etc ...
and i cant blame the father cause the gal is behaving real bad too, and i cant blame the gal cause her father only comes back once in a month ... and he din communicate with her enough ...
and always, it is hard for people to judge who is right and who is wrong, and perhaps it is the lack of communication and understanding between the parents and children that result in such consequences ... and when we dun have enough attention or love from parents, we cant do much thing but to love ourselves more and more ... it is okay if no one understand u, but u need to love and understand urself ... and learn to be happy ... ~
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Post by eemun on Oct 24, 2005 18:27:38 GMT 8
Bubble, i know your feelings...my ex-schoolmates had those kind of family problems... be strong... Bubble i know ur feeling too, i also same as you... Until now, i really seldom talk with my mom..i don't know how to make a communication with her....she is very busy eventhough before was same. No matter in home or have a dinner time , she always talking about "money" , i am very bored of this...maybe my father run away from us...she needed to take care our family so she needs to be stronger..Until i over 21 , i understandood everything. She needs me to be stronger person and independent too...i am very sorry to her (eventhough i can't open my mouth say a word"sorry "to her but i hope one day she will also understand i really love her,) I knew everytime i 'm made very quiet with her, because i don't know express myself. . instead of angry her...Unfortunately , so far she still don't understand me at all...may be timing problem...i wish i really wish she will understand one day ..Last time my father called us , he wanted to borrow some money from us, i suddenly shock! i didn't know it is kidding???my mind just think " he want money then he come back for asking money"..i am really disappointed at all...i don't know he remember us whether never ever????Before, i hope 1 day he will come back , but i think now is the time for ending Childhood regret.. i 've made regret so many times, my mom as well .....i just hope everything will be all right for me and my mom too... JJ ... gosh, well, if ur dad does disturb ur life with ur mom, u can actually get some protections from ur relatives, friends or even organizations ... i have many regrets in my life too ... but looking back the past will make u feel even sad ... and how bout making the past into smthg that motivate u? dun let the past haunt u ... take care my dear~
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Post by eemun on Oct 24, 2005 18:32:15 GMT 8
thanks lilywhite ...
and im sure that there r more children thinking the same way too, we (the children) sometimes find it hard to say sorry to parents cause we r ego too ... saying sorry is like admitting ur fault ... and instead of saying sorry, i usually will do something to repay my dad, do smthg that make him happy ... and im sure that he knew that im trying to say sorry to him ... and he just act bodoh ... lolz
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Post by chilicandy on Oct 24, 2005 19:02:04 GMT 8
bubble : u re strong young lady who can withstand all the pain memory with ur dad ... and at most times, people just find it difficult to understand individuals of different age ... cause we think differently and the things that we want r different ... my neighbour encounter about the similar case as u, once morning when i woke up at 5 smthg in the morning, i can hear the gurl (about the same age as i am) screaming in pain, and i can hear clearly her father beat her up with the belt,everytime when i come back from school (i was form 5 that time), the gal will wait for me in the staircase to change the shoes with me (she exchanged her sandals with my school shoes) ... and i knew her dad beat her up cause she ponteng, having bf at such age etc etc ... and i cant blame the father cause the gal is behaving real bad too, and i cant blame the gal cause her father only comes back once in a month ... and he din communicate with her enough ... and always, it is hard for people to judge who is right and who is wrong, and perhaps it is the lack of communication and understanding between the parents and children that result in such consequences ... and when we dun have enough attention or love from parents, we cant do much thing but to love ourselves more and more ... it is okay if no one understand u, but u need to love and understand urself ... and learn to be happy ... ~ wahh...sounds so horrifying... even if a child is rotten, they are not suppose to be subject to this kind of torture punishing...
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Post by soursand on Oct 25, 2005 0:09:30 GMT 8
thanks lilywhite ... and im sure that there r more children thinking the same way too, we (the children) sometimes find it hard to say sorry to parents cause we r ego too ... saying sorry is like admitting ur fault ... and instead of saying sorry, i usually will do something to repay my dad, do smthg that make him happy ... and im sure that he knew that im trying to say sorry to him ... and he just act bodoh ... lolz It's hard for me to say sorry too at times. But saying "Happy Birthday" or "Happy Mother's Day" or "Happy Father's Day" or "I love you" are even harder. Everytime I tried to tell them those, tears will roll down my checks. I really don't know why. I can even break into tears saying "Thank you" to my parents! What more a hug; tears won't stop flowing! I really hope my parents won't get upset when at times I didn't say "Thank you" or "I love you" to them. Mum and Dad, I love you very much.
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Post by chilicandy on Oct 25, 2005 0:21:03 GMT 8
i dont say " i love u " to my parents or siblings, it feels very not like me... i mean, probably i belong to those conservative asians, difficult to utter the three words...
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Ren_2001
Toddler
Ah Shung Shung
Posts: 271
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Post by Ren_2001 on Oct 25, 2005 2:38:00 GMT 8
Regret ah.. I am not sure, I am a forgetful person, I forget thing very fast... So.. I just LOVE every one around me:- when you love them, you will feel happy and no worries...I believe that everything has negative and POSITIVE too. So, Why not think POSITIVE and be HAPPY.. and of course , must aware of the NEGATIVENESS.... to protect yourself.....
SIMPLE KAN?
I learn from my parent.. My father once told me that.. if you fall into a well, and there are 3 ropes that you can escape by climbing them.. but when you pull all the three, happen that all these ropes putus... dun worry, there are a lot more ways for you to get out from this well, just Think POSITIVE, maybe the water will come into the well and you can swim out easily from the well.... What you do is Believe and never give up...
One more story to share with:- In a room, you feel very uncomfortable..hot... You go and switch on the FAN, sorry the fan is not working.. Suddenly you feel LAGI HOT>>>> and started to blame... why fan sudah rosak, but no one go and *fix* it.... >> hot lagi hot... blame here and there...
But if you think again.. why dun you just walk out from the room, and get some AIR outside the room? The Point is:- Dun Blame or asking ppl to CHANGE just to SUIT you... but CHANGE / correct yourselft (in a positive way) - tolerance kan bagus... Not to say change yourself to suit other is LOSING YOUR OWN PERSONALITY, but is to change another language, for other ppl to understand you more...
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Post by jwong on Oct 25, 2005 10:24:36 GMT 8
Ren,
Thanks for sharing....
I know of someone who had at a one time a serious relationship problem with her husband... After sometime, they got along well. I asked her what happen? She told me she became forgetful. Yeah, that works...
And, wah, your father very good storyteller lah... Maybe u can start a thread entitled 'stories my father told...' <I cant start, my father nver told me stories.... sad>
I must tell this story to my kids.
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